SimplyCiara

So, I'm dramatic, and sensitive....this should be interesting.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Is it just me?

So, I have some questions. I am eighteen years old, and I don't do drugs or drink (yeah for me!) but I'm not going to pretend I haven't been drunk because I went through a brief time where I did. But, I choose not to anymore. I know this is a weird place to start, but stick with me, because I really will need some input. I guess you could call her my best friend, Anne has some serious problems with boys. SERIOUSLY. She needs one in her life all the time, so there was this boy that she's been trying to get over for like 2 months, and it still hasn't happened. He still comes around, makes out with her, and then leaves her feeling like there is something there but he feels nothing. So, there's the background. Anne today got drunk. Let me just say that this proves she's all talk. She's always been the one that is like "I won't have sex till I'm married" (that didn't happen) and "I won't ever get drunk- it's so dumb". And she's done that too! But, what scares me is that she didn't see what was wrong with it! Am I competely alone? Am I one of the only people that just doesn't get it? Am I going to be a loner in college? Should I just throw all of my beliefs away now? I don't think so! I know I can be strong, but it's hard when people disappoint. The worst part is now I've lost a lot of respect for her. It's hard to see the good when my vision is so clouded by her stupidity. But, I can't help but think, in all this, am I just jealous? I hope not. I don't want to be that ditzy zotch that a certain someone has become in my head. Could someone just explain to me how drinking seems to be what people turn to in times of depression? I'm not perfect, I don't pretend I am, I just have done the drinking thing, and found it didn't help at all. It just made it harder because I wasn't who I really am. HELP ME! I feel like I'm drowning and the surface is just out of my reach.

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